*photo by laurice
"i feel like a leaf blown by the wind
but i fear the rain, soon to smash me"
I'll talk about "the" process. my great aunt once told me, that everything undergoes a process. its like when you decide to change your life, you cannot change right away. if you decide to: you might fail. being a human, everything should be done gradually- the process.
kypler, my very dear friend might be able to explain the "process" happening to me right now. that is because i tell him everything- laura too, and i know when i tell laura it would reach kharissa too. so that's the cycle of everything.
i know that i am quick at my decisions. i know i think fast. i never wanted to die old. that's why I'm doing everything now. however, i am happy that at some point i am starting to change. i feel "the process" taking place now. i know i am still in step one. or not- i cannot fully explain everything, you see. all i know is that everything is falling into its place.
* my days do not really follow a certain routine, unlike some. my life too. i don't plan anymore since my life was shattered when i took up nursing. but now im back on the track. this morning, i ate, right after i gurgled and all. i eat too much now. (i want to think that way). and sometimes i wonder- why should i be an anorexic? why should i be thin? well, that is because that is how the society defines beautiful. and i want to be that. who doesn't?
at some point i again contradicted myself. other people should not define me! (what the-). it is great to think like this. in the end, we all come to one place, being human. we are all interconnected to each other, though we deny sometimes. as for me, i am being human: i search meaning, i live, i enjoy everything and learn. who knows if i'll leave a mark in history or a vampire will make me immortal?
*all the photos in this post is by laurice: she's great right?
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