My Tinder Journey

1. I posted a half naked picture of a woman. There was a flood of indecent messages and I guess that is not surprising. Still, I must admit that the attention is flattering. Somehow, it fills a void in a drained self-esteem. 

2. A picture of chocolate cookies lathered with chocolate. 

I found my people- the chocolate lovers, the foodies, the coffee shop enthusiasts and the hungry. It was a better set of conversation because there was talk about things I love.

3. The Tinder Passport. 

My friend suggested Tinder Passport because I feel embarrassed if people I know will see me in Tinder. I went to Scotland because of the tv series Outlander and I posted a real pic. Initially, I thought I am really pretty because there are so many guys messaging me. Then I realized its normal because of the quarantine and people are doing nothing. 

And then I met a guy... 

4. The Ring. 

This is the funny part. You know how cool it is to have those props used in movies? My friend has the ring from the Lord of the Rings. I find it so cool that I used it. I met my generation of movie enthusiasts. However, there were those who have zero awareness about the ring that Frodo delivered risking his life. Some men asked if I was married, or it was a wedding ring and many more ring stories that are unrelated to the Lord of the Rings. 

In conclusion, my quest for searching a love story in online dating apps has been fun. This is a world of lonely people indeed. We all seek companionship from someone who thinks like us. But no two people think alike. It will always be a matter of patience and commitment to stay and survive together. 

What Changed?

Before

My life is a mixture of drama, practicality and a rat race. Everyday is another set of problems. I struggle with myself because I have so many issues with the world. I can say I am proud, selfish and yet gullible to the point of stupidity. All this because I believe that we owe it to ourselves to think that we are a big deal. There is a list of accomplishments in my head that I keep on mumbling whenever I feel like I am falling down. It is a defense mechanism that I know think is a bad one. 

During

At the beginning of this quarantine, I found the break as a great time to rest. I binged watched so many TV series and slept in what was left of the day. I set aside all the things that I had to do because I thought I deserved it. And then it dragged on. There was an extension of the quarantine after another extension. 

Mental: the Roller Coaster of Emotions

First, a self-reflection to review your life. There is a set of flash cards slapped in your face for every year of your life. Now, you bummed for two months and there is this feeling of emptiness. Apparently, all the activities were non productive. 

Second, there is time for family. Suddenly, meals are more meaningful because they are home-cooked. It was even more practical because there are no more expenses for eating out, gas for the car and time is plenty. 

Lastly, the lesson to pick up the pieces of your mental clutter and make them whole again. It is like a puzzle. The pieces are messed up, you form it but you have to break it again for the next player. The next player is still you. The mind is wonderful. 

After

There is a talk of a "New Normal." I hope everyone survives. Actually, I believe that everyone survives. Everyone managed to arrive at this point. It was the worst mental struggle of all time. There was a lot going on in the mind- finances, work, family, health and safety. It was the war of humanity where we all fought in our own ways.