there were those moments you suddenly get a flashback. and everything was happy. if you tell me that i would pretend not to understand. because maybe there are a thousand reasons for me to go away but i cannot-my heart remains here.
well, let's say i was way too happy when i saw you. and way too torn between what i call happiness and what is real. it is difficult to tell if this is a dream. or that it is not easy to choose. if i could- i would wish that he'd be you or you'd be him.
do not be mistaken. i am not confused. i just saw pieces of the puzzle. i wonder why it cannot be how i wanted things to be. then someone comes wanting to complete everything by saying what i had always wanted to hear. even showing what i always wanted to see. this is where i thought- i wish he was you.
certainly nobody can tell what defines people. without comparison. or basis. certainly, we cannot tell what makes them that or this. we just stick to them because of certain reasons that even we ourselves cannot express in words. we just want them. and we are happy. but what if-
there is always that guilt or regret of not trying things, or not reciprocating love given or shown. but what confuses them as much as it confuses me (a feeling that is always late) is that: could we love as many as we want. if we have only one heart?
man is frail. and life is short. from what you have said. i cannot sleep and i am thinking with my mind.
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Thursday, December 10, 2009
on the first night i was very sleepy. yet they told us we have to wear that white cloth and we have to stay there from 12 to 8 in the morning.
kulas sat beside me. said hayyyy- i'll imbento my soap. then. i said what? didn't you talk to the patient. he said nakaturog met.
i saw juan's paper- wrote encourage verbalize of feelings. then no corrections was done. it was considered correct.
i walked around. everybody was asleep and i hate them for that. no one to talk sentiments with. then i saw the bad- said it should drop 15 per minute. but the drops were continuous-looks like 80 drops per minuto.
then i walked again. the other said 20 drops per minute. but it was not dropping.
baby white was always crying. one morning he cried again but harder than ever. blood back-flowed. fast drip but there were no drips. aspirate. full syringe then PUSH! won't budge. full force a series of strong pushes. mam vim said its done slowly. lesser pain. lesser pain. the blood was gone. then it came back. maria aspirated again. again with those pushes... baby white was crying. there was fast drip already. fast drip plus aspiration was done. in vain. no success. baby cried.
the comfort room. i entered i nearly vomited. it was so foul smelling- like shit, blood urine. all those effin smells. i took the zonrox. then kurdapya told me im aspiring to be a janitress. i also opened the door. because the comfort room and that room has the same smell. kulasa closed it. she said its cold. i said its so stinky inside. she said again its cold nga. she didn't get me- right?
kulas sat beside me. said hayyyy- i'll imbento my soap. then. i said what? didn't you talk to the patient. he said nakaturog met.
i saw juan's paper- wrote encourage verbalize of feelings. then no corrections was done. it was considered correct.
i walked around. everybody was asleep and i hate them for that. no one to talk sentiments with. then i saw the bad- said it should drop 15 per minute. but the drops were continuous-looks like 80 drops per minuto.
then i walked again. the other said 20 drops per minute. but it was not dropping.
baby white was always crying. one morning he cried again but harder than ever. blood back-flowed. fast drip but there were no drips. aspirate. full syringe then PUSH! won't budge. full force a series of strong pushes. mam vim said its done slowly. lesser pain. lesser pain. the blood was gone. then it came back. maria aspirated again. again with those pushes... baby white was crying. there was fast drip already. fast drip plus aspiration was done. in vain. no success. baby cried.
the comfort room. i entered i nearly vomited. it was so foul smelling- like shit, blood urine. all those effin smells. i took the zonrox. then kurdapya told me im aspiring to be a janitress. i also opened the door. because the comfort room and that room has the same smell. kulasa closed it. she said its cold. i said its so stinky inside. she said again its cold nga. she didn't get me- right?
spelling bees
1. MIBBRAIN
2. SUBARACHROID
READ AND RE-READ
I forgot how to's i am so sorry. please accept the apologies i want to offer to those who were stabbed. to those hurt by the stones i threw. i was not lying. just criticizing. i felt so high i nearly doubted the presence of the earth. i questioned why they were stupid and i will never add the friends.
i saw rani. and she seemed very happy. why am i not happy? because i see the other side. always the other side.
a while ago i passed my effin NCP to maria. then she told maria she should give deductions. my nose. my ass.
pedrito did not tell us we have to go back. i told him the others were not informed. then she said o yes they were. it was announced yesterday!- damn you kulasa.
i was wrong. im sorry i forgot what i learned way back when i was two years old and you want to teach me again. those latex objects. haha- where are you from?
i was one of the dumbest. here i felt like a genius. maybe boulders of rock will kill me to death!!! stoneeee!
tomorrow we shall leave. i am so sad. so sad that i have to mingle with them pets. but i'll gladly share them all to those who'd like to feel like a genius. and follow my steps.
1. MIBBRAIN
2. SUBARACHROID
READ AND RE-READ
I forgot how to's i am so sorry. please accept the apologies i want to offer to those who were stabbed. to those hurt by the stones i threw. i was not lying. just criticizing. i felt so high i nearly doubted the presence of the earth. i questioned why they were stupid and i will never add the friends.
i saw rani. and she seemed very happy. why am i not happy? because i see the other side. always the other side.
a while ago i passed my effin NCP to maria. then she told maria she should give deductions. my nose. my ass.
pedrito did not tell us we have to go back. i told him the others were not informed. then she said o yes they were. it was announced yesterday!- damn you kulasa.
i was wrong. im sorry i forgot what i learned way back when i was two years old and you want to teach me again. those latex objects. haha- where are you from?
i was one of the dumbest. here i felt like a genius. maybe boulders of rock will kill me to death!!! stoneeee!
tomorrow we shall leave. i am so sad. so sad that i have to mingle with them pets. but i'll gladly share them all to those who'd like to feel like a genius. and follow my steps.
"kiss the rain, whenever you need me"
i met white bitch and black bitch.
white bitch suddenly folded the hands of jira which bulged due to stasis. and i told her that that is painful then she told me. you need to move this parts because water was retained or else bla bla. talk about pain management? she did not just fold it. she moved it in a circular motion and did everything all over again. jira can't talk because of the wound. but i saw his eyebrows wrinkle and tears threatening to flow from his eyes. to this point i regret not pulling white bitch out of that room through her hair.
spongebob told us. aren't you ashamed of yourselves? well i wish sponge bob gave us more because i was effin hungry and try hard guy and ampang girls did not think of me. they went out and they did not just eat. they talked to friends and they laughed with them. while i cringe in my screaming stomach.
why in the world should i wear that fucking piece of trash. its way not regarded by many. imagine all of them look like they are going to the beach in their two-piece suit? crappy grossly. with all those hanging adipose tissues in their ugliest forms and them idiot think they look super great? yuck.
genocide_ they entered the building with those fans (how i wish i could talk straight). like their the elite. and i heard their mentor talk about matchboxes??? that is effin ancient why do they still talk about that.
i am so sad. she wrote vas deference. why? vas deferens hello?
a lot more. kumag said you have to be prepared to save time and effort then he asked for a kidney pan??? helloi. they are ineffective. unlike where i came from.
i met white bitch and black bitch.
white bitch suddenly folded the hands of jira which bulged due to stasis. and i told her that that is painful then she told me. you need to move this parts because water was retained or else bla bla. talk about pain management? she did not just fold it. she moved it in a circular motion and did everything all over again. jira can't talk because of the wound. but i saw his eyebrows wrinkle and tears threatening to flow from his eyes. to this point i regret not pulling white bitch out of that room through her hair.
spongebob told us. aren't you ashamed of yourselves? well i wish sponge bob gave us more because i was effin hungry and try hard guy and ampang girls did not think of me. they went out and they did not just eat. they talked to friends and they laughed with them. while i cringe in my screaming stomach.
why in the world should i wear that fucking piece of trash. its way not regarded by many. imagine all of them look like they are going to the beach in their two-piece suit? crappy grossly. with all those hanging adipose tissues in their ugliest forms and them idiot think they look super great? yuck.
genocide_ they entered the building with those fans (how i wish i could talk straight). like their the elite. and i heard their mentor talk about matchboxes??? that is effin ancient why do they still talk about that.
i am so sad. she wrote vas deference. why? vas deferens hello?
a lot more. kumag said you have to be prepared to save time and effort then he asked for a kidney pan??? helloi. they are ineffective. unlike where i came from.
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