ASSUMING ROLES

you can rip away all my thorns if you want to,
you can stab me
you can kill me

but how come?
nothing is happening to me.

so today ended with so much thoughts on everything. too much stress i must say that i am not smiling anymore. i have always believed in "assuming roles". you see, in this life, some people would try everything in their power to tear you down. that is their ROLE. some would try to lift you up. some would try to comfort you. others, would just witness. this is the principle of "assuming roles"(my own!!!). we play a part in everything that we do. however in this principle, it would be our own very personal choice on what part would we play.
and if you look around you. everyone seem to be just like you- assuming a role.
of course everybody wants to be somebody. this comes hand in hand with greed, selfishness among others. if we look closely we would see that these words are synonymous.

why am i saying this? because it hurts that people assume a role that you never expect them to play. when all those times, you have been doing your part. i realized that no bond should be considered in this life. because even within families, where we all perceive to be secured, we are smashed. i say smashed because that's what really happens if you held on to something that suddenly dropped you. you, my dear reader, might oppose. but it can happen. to anyone.

i am just truly disappointed on the way things came out. thoroughly disgusted by the way people acted. because i thought i should never be that way. well, at least i already saw the devil in disguise(sorry) who smiled in triumph when the victors of pestering surfaced. i was surprised, or should i say shocked. they devil showed it self to me, on broad daylight. i must say i feared, because her power was overwhelming. but i was not broken. she just shook me. (because no one can break walls) i know my faith was too weak. (a while ago when i went to church, i said sorry to the Almighty, because maybe i cannot say that he is my life, i cannot yet say that i have faith, for that i am truly sorry) as was seen in my encounter with the devil, my eyes opened to so many things. why would she play the part of the devil in my life? please do not think that i am judging her. i do not want to claim that i am righteous. this post is not about me, but solely of her. i know she tried to kill me. she did not succeed. never in my life had i been challenged. but what were her chances? i do not care. never did i care about her, and never will i care again.

in her life, i would just play the part of a witness, i am sorry. for that i hope that i am no longer angry at this point. i would like to thank my friends, whom i will always love, even if i think they are not the loving persons- for being their. i would like to extend my faith to God, whom i hope to serve(i think faith is innate). and to her, the devil, who scathed my ever fragile heart. lately i lost the skill- to "not cry. for now i will try to practice it again.

maybe there are some who had the same experience. please know that they just assume roles. that should leave you unscathed rather, stronger. great day.

i would have cursed you
but i cannot step on a lower ground
while i scream of class
you rot with cheapness
sorry
i expressed. because i cannot talk to you
you won't understand