Sad Stories

I wonder if the need to be on top is just innate for human nature or animal instinct. Like being a victim makes you celebrate when you become the predator. Learning to appreciate your life when you see miseries of other people. Everything is outward. Thoughts are based on what is happening outside. 

Recent events in my life made me realize that I am a self-entitled and self-centered bitch for most part of my existence. Because I am so good at rationalizing being the drama-queen that I am, I have a reason every time I give up on something. Either it was not worth my time or blame it on the circumstances. This led me to jumping on one rock to another. Crossing bridges by looking for easier ways to cross it. 

Yes I know it now. Reality can slap you in the face or in the ass in moments that you feel powerless. I am learning a lot.

I learned that I have my issues that I have to resolve on my own. That is to suck it up and learn to endure things.

Dear God,

I cannot do this. I just cannot. But I will believe in you. Amen.