It seems like I am lost. In the middle of an empty space that feels suffocating. Maybe I am in a phase where I should be satisfying the society's expectations of me. Or rather, from another point of view, I am simply disappointed with myself. This is what I get from over thinking things with my self-proclaimed exemplary intellectual capacity. Indeed, I must admit my disappointment is the sole reason.
I just miss it. I miss not doing anything and getting something. But adult life is far from what I had imagined when I was in grade school. I am in a what-you-see-is-what-you-get-situation. This is the real game everyone.
So I am twenty-something and still in shock of what the world prepared for me. Thank goodness, I partied my way through college. But that good amount of fun has a consequence. I AM NOT USED TO THIS. But as my grandmother once said, only stones need a push to move. Well grandma, I think I am a stone.
Sometimes, I try to find an explanation to my bad coping mechanisms- the way my parents brought me up, the environment I was exposed to and the people I lived with. But all these pointing fingers barked at the wrong trees! I am DEVASTATED! THIS IS WHAT I GET FROM EXTREMELY EXCESSIVE SELF-ESTEEM!-disappointment. Well, life goes on. I PROMISE TO LIVE WITH POSITIVITY. Will someone please give me a tap on the back?
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