Amidst the quarantine to contain the virus, every person is struggling. One cannot discount another's problems just because. One this is for sure, we are given so much time to step back from this situation and take a good look at how we live our lives.
As for me, I initially realized how I do not have enough savings to survive if this quarantine drags to months. I regret drinking expensive coffee and dining out just because I can. I regret living at the moment financially. This situation was not considered when I was eating all the food and buying all the clothes and shoes just because I was stressed out.
This morning, I was frustrated again. I wanted so bad to volunteer because I have this urge to do something. In times like this, I want to act. I want to help. However, there was a curfew, there was no car available and it seemed irrelevant for me to arrive at the place because it is getting late. My family also made me realize, I have to stay home. There are no testing kits to know if I am infected. This is true plus the fact that I will put my whole household at risk. My friend told me, you are doing something by staying home. So I stayed home. Today, I realized I have to review my notes because I am a law student. This will be my share to my people. Someday it will matter.
A while ago, I decided to clean my room and declutter. I disposed a lot of expired medicines, expired make ups and some old receipts. There were also some receipts from everything. I have a thing with receipts. There was this plan to organize my finances so that I can see what I have been spending. It never happened. Then I saw my wedding plans for the wedding that never happened. Some cards from suppliers and the reservation for the church ceremony were compiled neatly. There was also a list of wedding songs. I checked on myself if there is a need to stop what I was doing. There was nothing but a commendation to myself for being so strong the whole time. I actually seemed unaffected by him leaving but there was a bit of hate for the situation I had to face because he was indecisive and I had to face the consequences. Regardless, I think I handled it like a pro. Thanks to the spinning classes that made me sweat so hard I cannot even cry right now. This makes me realize, I am in a good place and whatever happens I can face it with grace.
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