Defense Mechanisms: Survival Guide in the Covid-19 Era

 These are challenging times. It is extra tough requiring stronger mental health and more money in the bank. Mental health to battle the effect of quarantine and more money to survive realities. 

    So, what happens if you do not have the two? Your brain freezes and your body becomes weak. You will feel helpless and hopeless in a situation where there seem to be no answers. Then the moment comes when you have to decide: are you going to die or just fight? 

    In my case, I noticed how selfless I am. I still donated some things to some people who need help and still supported some suppliers in my business even if I had to close during this pandemic. It is my principle in life to help even if I do not have much. This does not mean I am a saint. It is just a way of trading with God. I always tell him that I am doing good things. In return, he must shower me with good karma right? 

    There came a time when reality sunk in. I have not much money left and I will still be in financial drought as this pandemic plans to overstay. 

  

Pandemic Stories: Running Away from Depression

 I met someone online. After graduating from the university, he went on a one-year trip to France just to chill. The plan was to find a legit work after the trip. But then, COVID happened. In my case, I invested most of my money and left a spare for just 3 months of expenses. These are just a few of the horror stories during this pandemic. 

In the process of saving yourself from depression or poverty, so many factors will come to attack you like a flood. This is like an announcement that you have a Cancer and someone tells you that it is okay. It is not okay. A friend told me that I have to feel this. 

1. Acknowledge

Yes. I am bitter, sad and broke. I bought a car, I cannot pay for my tuition fee and I have no money. I had to take an online job because its the only thing that I can do. 

2. What is number two? Take it all in. 

I wallowed in misery. Prayed to God for a miracle. I even thought of  getting a loan but I hate debts. 

3. Chill

I went out. Drank a cup of coffee and ate an expensive meal. I missed this life. I miss the times when I just go to the spa when I am stressed. After that, I packed my things and had to face reality. 

Well, I do not have answers to my questions nor do I have solutions to my problems. I just know that I will not give up. I have survived when my ex-boyfriend left me hanging while I was planning a wedding. I was able to raise a business when it was drowning in debt. There are so many things I have succeeded in. 

4. Remember you are not yet dead

Fight while you can. Crawl if you can. Do not stop breathing. The world does not end here. 

The Men I Met in Tinder: Uncensored

I have said my goodbyes to my old soul. She sucked in her life's views anyway. Being naive good girl who romanticized everything into a fairy tale slammed her to the pits of hell. But guess what? She crawled her way up to an open grave. She burned every ounce of fat in the process. She sweated like a pig in the gym because crying makes her head hurt. 

Oops. I went off-topic.

Online dating is one of my most hated forms of knowing people people this. It is insensitive and it seems like this makes us lose sense of why we are humans in the first place. But then, the wind blew, I found myself joining Tinder, Hoop and gave up my Snapchat account to so many. 

So these are the men I met on Tinder: 

1. Demanding

This guy wanted me to prove that I am not a catfish. I later learned that there are so many catfishes in the world. He became angry when I did not send a photo. So angry he called me so many times and then he blocked me. Talk about unresolved issues? I hate having to explain myself or having to prove myself. 

2. Always Hard

I never thought it was humanly possible. This guy asked me to compare dick sizes from different races. He sent me so many photos of his hard dick while asking me what I am currently doing. I never knew dick pics can be a part of a normal conversation. 

3. The Trader

It was later explained to me that pictures are traded in these platforms. Someone even further emphasized that it is the way in the online dating world. This guy sent me a half opened zipper that showed half of his dick. He said if I want a whole picture I should send a whole photo also. I never thought I would be negotiating in this part of the world. 

4. The Doctor

At first, he is sweet. I even thought I can meet the one online and my fairy tale-loving-idiot self started to believe again. He was perfect. He told me not to do anything I am not comfortable with. See, I like men who are sensitive. Of course our conversations were mostly kinky because I am not a saint. I learned a lot from him. How to take photos of myself and even researched online how to take nude photos. It was so enlightening. I learned that this is another form of art. 

5. The Handsome

This guy is so cute. He keeps on sending me snaps of his beautiful face and his beautiful body without caring about what I thin. 

6. Him 

We shall see how it goes.