I watched a Ted Talk where the speaker explained that love gives additional energy to a person to do things not normally done for the significant other. The same thing goes with being heartbroken. I agree because he took the listener down the memory lane to remember the euphoria of being in love and the gut-wrenching feeling of being heartbroken. Indeed, there is that surge of energy that can drive one beyond physical capacity.
As an experiment, I opted to feel being heartbroken again since I am not in love with anybody right now. I listened to sad songs of failed love, which is one that I can relate to. I sent myself back to the state of being a frustrated bride whom he left for another girl. All the shame and the disbelief came back in a flood while Lady Gaga sings "Never Love Again." I cried wetting my shirt and a lot of tissue. After five minutes, I assessed myself for that surge of energy. There was nothing but the absence of the will to live. My head felt heavy, my eyes are hot and I was sleepy.
I am doing this to drive myself back to the rush of life I was having before this quarantine. You see, I have a business and I am a law student. Aside from studies, I pride myself to providing livelihood to so many families. The local industry affects so many lives from suppliers of the raw materials, weavers, sewers, other traders and shippers. In effect, when the local industry is running well, children go to school, rents are paid, mothers can stay at home to work and take care of the children at the same time. In short, there is food to eat. I prided myself to being one of those in the front lines of this industry. It is my goal to promote our products for my suppliers.
This source of pride was taken from me when I was forced to stay at home and observe quarantine. I lost sense of direction because it feels like eternity. It caused a wave of mood swings as I battled with myself to stay put. They told us to review but my mind is revolting. With all this war in my head, I still know that I have to vomit the drama and do what I can do.
I talked to a lot of people. Some kept themselves busy by performing domesticated chores. In the internet, some cooked and made fancy drinks. I tried watching motivation videos in youtube and still read notes since I am still a student. I dug in my mind the question why I am feeling this way. I know I can do something but I do not have that drive.
In the end, a movie gave the answer: Official Secrets starred by Keira Knightly. I learned that love to and from a person is not enough to change the world. It must be the stern compassion to humanity and to what is right. These are trying times indeed. It was petty to think that failed relationships can zap me back to where I stopped. It was not enough to make me understand what I can do right now. It gave me a drive to knowing that something worthwhile can be done right now which can be a great contribution in the future.
To each his own. This usually applies to opinions but I think every person now is contributing. Life on earth is not so bad.
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