NO SURFING PORNO!!!!

must i say that i am so proud of Laurice! - well, she took these pictures. great shots right? way-to-go!!!

by the way their not real Levis models- Eloisa and Wynster













pain is inevitable. no matter what happens, whatever we do. it is. who am i to say that i can take your miseries. when you yourself inflict them to yourself. there is a lot of colors in this world. yet you fail to acknowledge them. you claim that you can banish everything. but you yourself is unhappy. you yourself is dull. for how can you paint a picture without the life?
must you understand me?- no. shall i ask for that? no. why in the world would you care anyway. nobody cares now. NOBODY.

so instead of talking about my stupid thoughts that did nothing but drag me down. here's what i say. where is the boyfriend that i have been looking for?. sadly, must i say, TRAGICALLY, my school is not a brooding area of handsome men. well, there are some exemptions though..it is funny that they say all good men are taken. WHATTA? well i do not think so. they are just lost.
but why am i looking for a boyfriend? here it is:

a. someone to talk to? - i guess i just miss my friends.
b. someone..

oh well there are times that i realize that i am just saying that i need a boyfriend. well. i don't think so. since, i know that i am not u-g-l-y nor am i anything people don't want me to be.

***

PEOPLE REVIEW!

hi. Mrs. Luvim Bilango was my teacher in Pharmacology. well, i won't talk of the other things but here's what i say: she is among the best teachers of this age. hail-her! (she's the woman in the pic) and the kid beside her is her son, whom she is so proud of. i must say that if ever i am going to be a teacher , i am going to be like her. i think i liked her because she has that glorious happy aura enveloping her. i really don't care if she won't remember me forever. but at least she did something in her life. she is a great person. -when i say great person- it doesn't mean she isn't human anymore. i may not know anything about her but her- being a good mentor. she is a human too. (looks)

we call ourselves- tanaaan! KAZY QUA!. KAZY: from kazy gals- derived from crazy girls(so that it won't be too flaunting) "kazy gals used to be "KADARK" k-harissa a-arlene d-dharyl a-abigayle r-rhealyn k-karen. however, in highschool things usually get tough- like having different classes (that time, being separated is already tough) and i guess dharyl said that the "dark" in KADARK is a bit dark? i just can't say she means demonic. but i already said that. so when we went to second year i met these girls:(picture L-R) mary rose, mariz, jo-anne, gerlyn, and me with the stupid smile! .

know that everyone of us are burdened by our desire to help. not that we pity, not that we play philanthropists- but just staying there being with them. that is why i wish i am that rich. i hope i would be.

***
what if's

a lot of what if's
what if i never read jorge and kach
what if i never texted him
what if i never smoked
what if i never went to that screening
what if i just did it
what if i just flirted
what if i never said that
what if i showed i care
what if i never went there
what if i never stayed
what if i never cared
what if i never saw that
then i should've never loved writing
what if i never cried.
what if i never lived
what if i did die
what if she never came
what if my heart stopped
what if i could give life
what if i could be God
what if he truly loved me
what if he never did
what if he showed he cared
what if i prayed
what if i stopped?
what if i questioned
what if i stood up
mine should have been rekindled.
mine should have stayed
maybe like sand running through my fingers
i know you will always go away