HE LIKED ME!!!

HAD i known that that is that- then i should have been happy.
had i known then i should have never looked down at myself.
why have you been so stupid. why??? in sanest sense have you been so numb and dull!!!

or- what the!. why? why in the world have you been so stupid? when i thought that you were so perfect! when everything in this world is all about you!. well, i should have been serious if that was you. my thoughts would have been intact. my principles saved. why??? you are the dumbest person in this whole freakin' world. i should have given everything!!! i should have done anything.

if only- if only you were that-. i should have loved you.- with all my heart- but you didn't

why in the world? -he wouldn't have ruined everything. i know i have my own share of stupidity. why? why in the world? i would give anything to turn back time! anything for you to come back. -anything

he like me! so sad that i have just known. if only - back then when i was still among the happiest people on earth- back when i was still different. i would've felt how it is to be happy- but
but you didn't move. why in the world? now i hate you too- i know you will never come back. one thing i know is that- -i-a-m far- BETTER than anyone and you know that. you were so stupid!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -if only you can come back but you can't and you won't . i felt that i thought it was the sand that slipped through my fingers. i thought it wasn't you- the sun that first touched me. but you were just never there. you never said you would . even if i thought you would. or- what the??? my heart was torn- if only you were there - then i should have never been hurt myself, if only -dang! i hate you for being dumb!- and never shall i say this again- never should i be this - i hate you and your kind.

_me in my if onlys .