ACCEPTANCE

I thought I had true love but I guess I rushed to that thought too soon.Now, I am left with the broken idea of what the words : perfect, true or real mean.Well,maybe that is just the way it is.

A few months before this, I succumbed to the shadows of loss, grief and other emotions related to sadness. I hated losing people. I cannot live with the idea that I have to say goodbye and say hello to another. Now, I am loving it most because I realize how much this chapter of life is teaching me. It forces me to face all those that I refused to accept and deal with before- reality that people go. And we have to move on. This feels like  sunshine.

Maybe, I have to thank him too, for letting me go, for facing truth and asking me to face it too. I might not call what we had love sometime in the future when I find someone who is not you. I think what we had was never love because if it was then it should have lasted and you should have called and you should have ... a list longer than the longest. But still thank you for the laughs, the adventure, the pictures and everything in them. I hated goodbyes but I have to say goodbye,right? Even if you think that I do not even deserve a personal talk for what its worth and for what we have been through to tell me why, what happened and all that. Maybe it never mattered but it did with me. And maybe you are just not that kind of person and that I have to understand that again. I became so tired and I am so happy that I am now exhausted of waiting and of expecting. Well,I just wish that you would find someone who deserves you and I will be happy for you.

As for me,I will now pursue my life long dreams and passion for reading and writing. Occasionally, I see myself searching for myself and my soul in a way that has no directions. I will again be a free spirit without the bounds I have created myself with you. I will forget and let go, move along. I have never felt happier in months. I am sensing the old me springing back to life like a stampede. Well, I shall thank you most of all. This will always be a sad part but that is the way it is. I still wish that we can be friends maybe even if you would not prefer that.It is just that with me it eats me up from the inside, I cannot say goodbye