i am hating. everyone for their non compliance to what i want. and their lack of anticipation for my needs. why do i think highly of myself. i hate what is going on and i have the tears. i do not cry for now. because i cried to all of them all in vain. i am hating because i can no longer write. my books, i placed them all in boxes. i cannot even show what happened to me. i cannot even walk straight without rethinking. they should have told me they owned me. i hate them. i hate them.

i envy those who can smile the bitchiest smile. i miss the old face i had. i miss it. i miss him. i miss all of them and their worlds started turning while mine stopped.
i do not know if i should start forgetting. because the pain is too much to bear. and there is nothing else i can do. damn this fuckn life . damn these maudlins .shit