So what if I got my heart broken? I drunk myself to death and it
is still there. I craved for chocolates, cigarettes coffee and a lot more. But
it is still there.
Before this, I know that I myself have complications. Then I found
someone whom I can lean on. I made him the wall that I can still stand
straight. I made him the reason for my happiness and the reason to smile. I
made him the person I ran to when I have a bad day. He left me. I am alone
now.
People, who are outside my situation, will think that I am being
weak and pathetic. That I have to be strong because I am. I was even told that
I am supposed to know what I am doing. But I do not really. I have no idea how
to cope with this. I never had this. I no longer have that wall to lean on and
that person to ran to because I am having a very bad time. What am I supposed
to do without him.
For months and months I thought of this. I watched movies and read
self-help books. I realized that I actually knew what I must do but I do not
want those options. These options include moving on and just accepting that he
is gone. If I look back, I just cannot do that. Then there is this voice
behind my head that tells me and pushes me forward. Nudging me to make the right decisions. I am
so scared that I might not become the same person after this. I might lose that
girl who loved the idea of love. But let us face it. Let us be it. Have fun my
love. This is just the journey towards becoming that better person.
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