TALK ABOUT POLITICS

? well, the talk about politics infuriates me. as if, as if some things will change. pardon if i am being a pessimist on this. well, people ask why Aquino takes the lead od being the president. i just think of course, of course! Ninoy and Cory Aquino were the only people in the government who fought for democracy back when nobody took the stand to even breath during the dictatorship. so what do you expect? what would people eventually expect from their son? of course something is expected from their son. wth cant people get that?

lets not refer to the couple as "mama and papa" for g*** sake. speak of them with respect because you and nobody could have ever done what they did. so tell me, why noynoy? why his parents? why ? why? wth. because something is expected from him. because his parents saved the Filipinos before. because for some reason he might be able to do the same. and of course of course the other candidates are also capable of such. however, the majority wins. more faith was offered to Aquino. we'll see. it is not the end of the world. why the hell are people panicking. as if they could have reacted when estrada became the president.

YESTERDAY

yesterday, i went out with the group. first with the boyfriend because he does not belong to the group meaning i treat him differently than the rest of the others. not that the others are _ than him but its just that the boyfriend is only one, the others are many.

yesterday, i went out with the group and the boyfriend. and it was fun. i was so happy to see the group and the boyfriend. still, it is so different being with the group and the boyfriend and the other group. the other group has more activities, most of which i cannot indulge because it involves...

yesterday, i recall them talking about personalities and the other people they do not get along with. i do not remember myself talking because i was sleepy i was only listening. and someone mentioned melancholy- i heard MELONCHOLY. did the bitch inside me awaken? dang i miss that drink. still i was effin sleepy.

yesterday, i was supposed to go to BGH. but i so hate everything right now and still i want to think i love it. kasi sayang ang oras sa pag-iinarte.

the other day, i told Mayrick, shit friend i am fucking brainier than all those losers who graduated-referring to those i saw in the other school. i am fucking way better in most ways. why did we not graduate??? i know you are fucking good too! he said. it is fine with me, i am not yet prepared to face the real world. then i agreed. it is indeed true. i needed my mother's fucking finances to satisfy my whims even if that means forgetting the fucking passion of writing. fuck. after packing all those fucking books and wanting to sell them- i kept them because when i build my house huh i will have a fucking library for that.

yesterday, C shared some maudlinssss with the rest of us. well, i cannot judge her with how she deals with her dramas. well, me i just love myself and like my friends pride comes first, because that is the only thing you actually possess. although i had my share of fucking flirtatious flirtations which are fucking shameful well, tapos na yun. well, C i just think that it is always better to entertain anger than sadness and self-pity. anger awakens every single cell in your body and it is invigorating. like me, i am so angry with what i did, with what happened because hell i am so fucking intelligent i can pass all those fucking subjects even if i would not try. see, the others- they failed and they tried. i do not understand them. when you chose something you are prepared to whatever that decision will slap into your face. and when you did not choose it, well you can fucking blame everyone for it. but had you not chosen that? i hate people who complain over some things that they can actually do something about. everything is fucking possible when you want to. there is no question to that. because i can attest to that.

so why are you complaining? you are so lucky to be there.but you see, i must think of myself that bothering about who will be the next fucking president. to hell with that.

i want to write a song. and a love story. i think i am making one right now. i think the words are just all over my mind and body and i would not want to gather them all right now, because then i would have nothing to do. then, i would be so bored. so right now, i am holding on the fascination i feel towards things. and if one day, i decide to write my story and my song, i hope you read it and i hope you will like it. because they would be the things that i wanted to tell the world so much. and you.

MIKASA

the lines went this way then it went up and down and round and round. sometimes my radar for pick-up lines are way to strong i absorb too many of them then i do not notice which ones are mine when i tell them. so i might say that i think like a salad. if that was gross to say whatever?

well, this days i am so busy or maybe not, i just like the idea that i am so busy and hahaha i really am. my social life is being cut and that really effin sucks because i am in a sort of real world now. i am surrounded by people who would do anything just to get past through everyone! ands that if i do not do something i will be left behind. i hate being left behind. but what is difficult is that i am used to having people lay the carpet on my feet and as i have said. this is indeed the real world.

i loved my old life? i loved my confidence slapping everyone's face with my brilliance! that was when i was surrounded by idiots. or i might be just as assuming as everyone is. see, brilliance does not have a basis. it is innate. hahaha talk about my defense mechanisms on some of my loser traits.

so while everyone is thinking of whom to vote for president i am here lamenting over my ancient dramas. that is i am so sad that i cannot do what i want. and that i cannot even do a proper NCP in 1 hour when everyone else can. blah blah. well, the reason why i will not vote today is that i went to the movies that night when all the lines were long and i was at the end of it with my dear neighbor.

there ///