I wish I can make it all work. That is my only prayer these days. I hope that I can try my best in what the future holds. Well, things happen when you believe.
Right now, I am just so happy with all the things that are happening. This is so challenging since it questions my intellectual capacity and limitations. And we should never have limitations because life- we only feel it once. So I thought of reformulating my goals in this life. I now have the answers as to what is it really that I want? That is success in life and to change the world! I will be an advocate for justice even if it kills me.
I realized how amazing circumstances are when you stop and ponder on what they mean.
Monday, September 17, 2012
Saturday, September 15, 2012
IN SCHOOL
What is it really that I am looking for? What is actually the reason that I am disappointed? What is the purpose of these all?
Questions that I asked myself from last night. And now, I know how to answer them all. After having been pushed and dragged to finish something that I do not want I took up law because I think it is the right place for someone who is passionate in reading and writing. But then, I was actually disappointed because the law has its perks. I never believed in it, in the law and in the government. And studying it was not a walk in the park.
Last night, I had the most amazing conversations with people who will soon be my sisters that was actually so fun in the face of it. Yes, you were right that I should not allow prejudice take over what I think I can do. I love it I love you all. And I am not actually gay I think Sol was right that is not the reason it should come from the heart.
She also asked me, and noticed that I do not have anyone to talk to. Iam so driend up from all the things that are happening, I cannot seem to know what I am doing. The frustration came from a very deep seated high self esteem. To hell with that. It is high time that you stop thinking that I am stupid.
There was also that way to know the means that we escape insanity from what we do and that is to thread unknown waters and get crazy sometimes...
Questions that I asked myself from last night. And now, I know how to answer them all. After having been pushed and dragged to finish something that I do not want I took up law because I think it is the right place for someone who is passionate in reading and writing. But then, I was actually disappointed because the law has its perks. I never believed in it, in the law and in the government. And studying it was not a walk in the park.
Last night, I had the most amazing conversations with people who will soon be my sisters that was actually so fun in the face of it. Yes, you were right that I should not allow prejudice take over what I think I can do. I love it I love you all. And I am not actually gay I think Sol was right that is not the reason it should come from the heart.
She also asked me, and noticed that I do not have anyone to talk to. Iam so driend up from all the things that are happening, I cannot seem to know what I am doing. The frustration came from a very deep seated high self esteem. To hell with that. It is high time that you stop thinking that I am stupid.
There was also that way to know the means that we escape insanity from what we do and that is to thread unknown waters and get crazy sometimes...
Thursday, September 13, 2012
PAINS
We cannot take back the time we have given away to people who seem not to know its worth. And even if we say that we learn from that experience and shall choose the right person next time, we know that we are still waiting for someone to come back.
Despite that impossibility we wait for a miracle, either for things to be the same again or that things will get better. But waiting is a very tedious because it might take a very long time before what you pray for will be answered. One thing is for sure, things will get better.
...
I am just tired of waiting, hoping and over thinking things. I realized, it was never meant to be. I am sorry to the people whom I disturbed but I believe that it is among the roles you play as a friend. I shall forever be in debt to your time and your advices. I must also be thankful to this person who for unknown reasons make me happy everytime, your presence is just unbelievably heartwarming, obviously the reason that others would fall at you feet. And to you who thought I am that shallow get over yourself.
For four days I drank my pains away and my breath tastes like cigar. I am sober now. Thank you. I have realized that there are more from life that what is seen by the naked eye. They are the people who catch you when you fall, because the cause of the fall did not even do anything. It is a blessing to know the real people and your real self. These things emerge at times when everything is blurred and hazy.
Indeed. during these times all I can do is pray for the Father to guide me to the right path and to give me strength and wisdom so that I may do well in my decisions.
Despite that impossibility we wait for a miracle, either for things to be the same again or that things will get better. But waiting is a very tedious because it might take a very long time before what you pray for will be answered. One thing is for sure, things will get better.
...
I am just tired of waiting, hoping and over thinking things. I realized, it was never meant to be. I am sorry to the people whom I disturbed but I believe that it is among the roles you play as a friend. I shall forever be in debt to your time and your advices. I must also be thankful to this person who for unknown reasons make me happy everytime, your presence is just unbelievably heartwarming, obviously the reason that others would fall at you feet. And to you who thought I am that shallow get over yourself.
For four days I drank my pains away and my breath tastes like cigar. I am sober now. Thank you. I have realized that there are more from life that what is seen by the naked eye. They are the people who catch you when you fall, because the cause of the fall did not even do anything. It is a blessing to know the real people and your real self. These things emerge at times when everything is blurred and hazy.
Indeed. during these times all I can do is pray for the Father to guide me to the right path and to give me strength and wisdom so that I may do well in my decisions.
Monday, September 10, 2012
ONE POTATO TWO POTATO
There is a time in every life when one should slap himself on the face. The sad fact that has to be faced in order to live. That is I am alone. I have a quote in mind but I just could not find it right now about being alone and how people try not to feel it.
Last night, I have had the perfect conversation with people, who are now my friends. And they told me things that I will never forget.Indeed, why should I waste time being in despair when the other does not. I am sure that time will come when I will realize that reality is just the way it is. I think I have been too naive about things in life by trying to assume and give meaning to everything. Well, as I have learned in law, nothing else matters but law in the face of it even though you are of disadvantage because you are a nursing graduate and you are a hopeless romantic who is now facing a lot of case digests to write and books to memorize.
But I must share my utter disappointment for what happened. Why? It should have been perfect had it not been for you, who I think rendered me as stupid. I see, that you will not understand my points of belief, so why should I try? It is the saddest thing that being naive makes me impossible to be with. I think I have changed a lot in the past relationships but I did try to adjust on some aspects just so I can cope up or just so it can work. But it did not. I now realize that it is most wrong to change something good already. Indeed, I am best when I am alone because I will not disappoint anyone and no one will disappoint me. Like what I was told yesterday, I am lucky to feel all these while I am still young. Young is the word that renders us carefree and stupid. However, despite that sad fact we should grow now because I think I am not young anymore.
Thank you God for today.
Last night, I have had the perfect conversation with people, who are now my friends. And they told me things that I will never forget.Indeed, why should I waste time being in despair when the other does not. I am sure that time will come when I will realize that reality is just the way it is. I think I have been too naive about things in life by trying to assume and give meaning to everything. Well, as I have learned in law, nothing else matters but law in the face of it even though you are of disadvantage because you are a nursing graduate and you are a hopeless romantic who is now facing a lot of case digests to write and books to memorize.
But I must share my utter disappointment for what happened. Why? It should have been perfect had it not been for you, who I think rendered me as stupid. I see, that you will not understand my points of belief, so why should I try? It is the saddest thing that being naive makes me impossible to be with. I think I have changed a lot in the past relationships but I did try to adjust on some aspects just so I can cope up or just so it can work. But it did not. I now realize that it is most wrong to change something good already. Indeed, I am best when I am alone because I will not disappoint anyone and no one will disappoint me. Like what I was told yesterday, I am lucky to feel all these while I am still young. Young is the word that renders us carefree and stupid. However, despite that sad fact we should grow now because I think I am not young anymore.
Thank you God for today.
Thursday, September 6, 2012
EVERYTHING IN BETWEEN
I wonder how much longer can I take this struggle. It degrades my self-esteem. For weeks I have been trying to push myself beyond the boundaries of my limitations. And it is so frustrating.
But I will not give up on this. I will slam it on the face of it. So I shall stop blogging and read. Cheers
LESSONS FOR THE WEEKS
1. Treat the teachers like gods and you will learn more.
2. Drink hard liquor to do away from hang-overs
3. Read- that is the only way to pass, should have done this in the first day.
4. Spend money on things that really matter.
5. Be happy even if there is no reason to
6. spend the day well
That is all.
But I will not give up on this. I will slam it on the face of it. So I shall stop blogging and read. Cheers
LESSONS FOR THE WEEKS
1. Treat the teachers like gods and you will learn more.
2. Drink hard liquor to do away from hang-overs
3. Read- that is the only way to pass, should have done this in the first day.
4. Spend money on things that really matter.
5. Be happy even if there is no reason to
6. spend the day well
That is all.
Saturday, September 1, 2012
ON REALIZATIONS FROM HEARTACHES AND FAILURES
From the series of events that had happened to me in the past few months, I am very happy to have learned. This happiness is not shallow and does not come from something pleasant. Instead, It came from my recent pains and agonies. I am well satisfied to realize that I am living and I am finding some difficulty in dealing with things. So, grateful of all these and more grateful for the strength that comes from my family and friends. I can do this. I will do this.