TODAY

I am still overwhelmed at this path I embarked. This first few steps that I am taking makes me shiver in the face of uncertainty, fear and doubt. What am I doing here? I wonder. But I did this to satisfy the intense desire of having a reason f existence. To be able to be of service to my co-habitants in this world.

A while ago, we were bombarded with the horrors we are about to face in law school. Or is this just an exaggerated reaction on my part because I never took things seriously in the undergrad and getting serious is seriously difficult. I used to pass because I calculated the chances well. But where I am now, is the other part of the world. This is indeed the challenge of life. I am so aroused at this point of the competition. Indeed, I have been sleeping for too long taking in life like it is a walk in the park. One serious problem, I never really took anything seriously before because, I never wanted them so bad. My fear of failure is my drive to push forward but that was just for the competition- the essence of surviving. I have zero knowledge about where I am right now. This requires me to change the strategy on everything that I mastered. This is bad. It makes my pace slow.

So, I really have to work hard on this. Because indeed, God gave me this opportunity to do what I love most everyday and that is to read and write. I will make sure that I will do my best to discipline myself (something that I have never tried) on time management. Actually, I am also reading John Grisham novels to heighten the mood while I do my case digests and it helps. I also included watching movies and television series about the legal world in my strategy. But then, I have to credit the "strategy-building" to my younger brother, who suddenly slapped me with these words- winning is not always the most important thing, its the strategy. Imagine that. I brain's functions froze for a moment from the shame of focusing on the prize. I have to admit that my brother has a better insight about winning. But I will say it again I am still lost in the middle of my frustrations, anger and this new found passion.

May the grace of God be always my guide in every endeavor that I involve myself in. And I shall submit to his word and offer him everything I will reap.