BULLS OF LIFE

What defines a good daughter?

What defines success?

What defines happiness?

We are all but specs of united living cells who try many things to fit in this world. But what are we really trying to achieve or to prove? Must we always base our actions on the idea of karma? Or maybe there is no need for that. What if we just embrace the idea of living in this material world and decide to ride the bulls until we get knocked off.  Our state after being thrown in the ground depends on the circumstance prior to being thrown. First, our physical state if the body can take it based on its muscle mass and agility or we can even add flexibility. Then there are other factors to consider, like emotional state. A person can be extremely sensitive towards trauma of being thrown, or the pain of the process. 

After that, what happens next? Will you do it again or run off?

This is the part that makes me wonder. What will you do if one chapter is over and there are a lot of options before you. I have read a lot of self-help books and they all told me to just do it. You just have to do what makes you happy or what makes you feel alive. Must there always be that sense of urgency or adrenaline rush to push the blood and keep the heart pumping? What if I opt to lie in my bed and wallow in my miseries. What if I choose to stop running with the bulls and embrace the peace and quiet?

It just occurred to me that I have wrecked my life recently. I can say that it was like riding a bull. The bull is just a notorious thing that wants me off its back but I want to win the game of who-can-hold-on-longer. Then, at some point I made a mistake or it could be an accidental right decision. I was expelled from our union. I fell on the ground and felt that piercing pain all over my body. If I was to complain, I would not know which part must I demand the medical team to address. 

My current dilemma? I do not know what I am doing with my life. But I am noticing something, everything seems to fall into its place.