of course i have to cry. and i would do it infront of you just so you would be fed up with guilt until you cannot take it anymore. My point the whole time was, I am doing my part and there was no need of telling me the facts over and over again. yes I know i go too high to much but just tell me if you cannot do it. I will sacrifice. just tell me if I myself have to find ways because this is what i want right now and you told me before that I can do what i want after Im done with that. sorry.