FOR YOU

one thing. when he died. i cannot describe what i have felt that time. all i know was that. i was at that point of desperation mixed up with sadness. everything was overwhelming. before the end came. i knew he looked at me. i knew he looked at me. i knew he was looking at me. so i smiled. mr. noel Parinas once told us that death is a good thing, what makes you not want to go is those attachments that you would leave behind.

death is a very good thing. maybe you would never read this because you are now starting to open your eyes towards the wrong sides of the world. you start to drink, smoke andi would not know the other things that you do at the moment. why am i telling you this. life depends of how you choose perspectives. and right now, you have everything you laid up in front of you. just don't waste your time on silly things.

although i truly am sorry for my ways. for it is not easy to tell you that you should be good. i am sorry for hurting you. i just want you to learn from me. and i would rather take the role of being the most hated sister in the world if in return you would be able to see that you are luckier than me. than anyone else. and really i love you so much but why are you like that?

two things
my heart is still so sad. and i cannot make him see the importance of everything we have at the moment because maybe pain is not yet there. . and though i know that i have hurt him with my foolishness and failed everybody. but then if only i can show them what i have see. still i know that they won't believe.

it caused pain in my eyes, in my heart that i have tried to grip on air. i have opened a door in my life and i am just so sad that. im so sorry my dear if this is my way of showing you what life is. you have to learn my dear. i know that i was never that person. but i was hoping that you become that person you know.