HIM

:confusing
if i said I'll never fall in love again, why do i feel this way? now that you seem to be the perfect person. if someone can understand that i am among those who have been searching for something relevant. how should i feel upon realizing that he is within my reach. how should i tell myself that i have to stop because i knew how it felt to be heart broken. nothing lasts forever, i know. i am the kind who wants every good thing to last forever.

"and like a dry leaf stranded at one spot after the rain, it would not be easy to be blown away"

.i am sorry if i had to be stupid with all this thoughts. but my heart can no longer take more pain. because if i put myself in the shoes of a dry leaf, then what will i be?-nothing. i cannot push myself to be the numbest person in this world, but if we have to be stones to feel humanity in our veins, why not? if we have to be so cold to those around us, why not? -because we cannot give every piece of our self when everybody is taking part of it. you see, crying , screaming never erased pain. it is so difficult when pain hits- it seem to linger. now, if there is still something we can do to escape the cruel fate of being in pain, why not cling to it?
RIGHT?

*thanks jo, for being there. the guy i told you bwt is not in this one